I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
