That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
