I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
