the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
