My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
