A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
