big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
