There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
