i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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