My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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