Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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