So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
