Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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