i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
