I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
