I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
