Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
