Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
