So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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