All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize