"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
