Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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