talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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