She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
