This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
