to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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