We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
