Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
