I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
