Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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