Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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