so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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