508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
