If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
