hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
