apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
