WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
