so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
