What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
