You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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