That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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