brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize