At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
please come you make the beer taste better
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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