Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
