whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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