I am puke
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
