you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
