Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize