Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
