doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
