Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
