she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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