3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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