You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize