I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize