Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
