when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
