Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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