and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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