her vagine was all disorganized.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
