fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
