I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
