you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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