found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
