I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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