I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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