Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize