I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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