I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
