Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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