I hate your face
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize