I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
